My parents are hosting machines. Some of my favorite memories as a child involved a giant dinner table with all of my cousins, my grandma, my aunts and uncles, and my parents. Relatives would waltz in and out of the house, sometimes popping in for dinner or right after, settling down around the dining room table as my mom brewed some tea for everyone. Wine glasses and stained corks would litter the table after late-night conversations. To this day, every year when I’m home for Thanksgiving weekend, my high school friends still congregate at the same table while my parents pop open a few bottles of wine. Everything seemed effortless. You can say I inherited the same hosting gene - but it took me a few tries to achieve “effortless”.
Over the years, I’ve found the best structure that works for my sanity. I’m able to cook what I want without driving myself nuts and I bake in enough time for myself to decompress before guests arrive. Here is a comprehensive timing guideline for a relaxed dinner party.
Start time: 7 pm (with an 8 pm dinner)
I’ve found that a 7 pm guest arrival works well for all types of guests. It’s early enough that people aren’t starving (if they are, hit them with the appetizers) and it’s late enough that those who are fashionably late rarely ever arrive after 7:30 pm because then it will cut into “usual dinner time” and it may be perceived as rude. An 8 pm dinner service allows for a good leisurely meal that will likely last until 10 pm. This allows the early birds (friends with kiddos) to leave but doesn’t create that awkward post-dinner what do we do now? should we still go to a bar? time gap. It’s also not too late where you, ever the gracious host, start to think ok please leave so I can watch Netflix now.
Outsource
Ask all guests to bring a bottle of wine or some beer - their choosing. Ask one guest (who also likes to cook) to bring an appetizer to supplement yours. Finally, ask another guest to bring some fruit. Berries are usually a great, crowd-friendly option.
Have things on reserve
This includes 3 bottles of wine ready to go. Open one of yours first, then open the ones your friends bought - the last 2 are for if all other alcohol runs out. Buy 1-2 chocolate bars of your choosing (to go along with the fruit that someone else brings). Have coffee and tea supplies available.
Schedule
Night before
Grocery run. Get all of the ingredients and alcohol you need the night before so you’re not rushing around the day of. Then do a general sweep of the house and clean up clutter. That means putting away magazines, mail, and whatever other stuff that has accumulated on your counters. Focus on the living room and bathroom. Guests shouldn’t be going into your bedroom.
Morning of
Nothing dinner-party-related. Wake up to a clutter-free living room. Go relax. Do your normal morning routine. Get a work out in. Have some coffee.
Lunch time
I typically don’t like to make lunch at home if I’m hosting a bunch of people over for dinner. I will already be spending the next half-day in the kitchen so treat yourself out to a simple lunch.
1:00 - 2:30 pm
Use this time to make the appetizers. I love dips - they’re simple, easy-to-eat, and customizable for any guests with dietary needs. Also - you should be able to finish 2 dips in this time frame. Otherwise, make something simpler or get something store-bought. Dips are also a way to get some food into hungry guests who arrive at 7 pm expecting dinner immediately. I like using pita or pretzel chips because they are more filling than tortilla chips.
2:30 pm - 3:00 pm
Take a break. Do a quick wipe-down of all important surfaces (coffee table, dining table, bathroom counter). Quickly swiffer or vacuum your floors. Nothing too detailed. Pull the shower curtain closed - this gives an illusion of a cleaner bathroom.
3:00 pm - 5:30 pm
Entree prep and cooking time. The best dinner party entrees are usually ones that require only up to 1 hour of prep/active cooking (chopping, frying, etc) and 2-3 hours of low and slow passive cooking time (on the stove or in the oven). Go-to entrees of mine are spaghetti & meatballs, chili, braised meats, stews. These have little upfront effort but pay off in flavor and home-y vibes.
5:30 pm - 6:00 pm
I usually make a simple salad to go along with the entree. The idea is that since your guests will be partially full from the appetizers, a simple entree and salad will always go down well. No need to bust out a super complicated recipe. Your friends are there for the company, not to judge your food. During this time, I prep the salad ingredients and dump it in a large serving bowl. I also make the dressing and keep it to the side.
6:00 pm - 6:45 pm
If the entree is done, keep it in the oven on low or warm on the stove. If not, let it keep going - you technically still have 2 hours before dinner has to be served. At this point, you should stop cooking. Take this time to clean up the kitchen. Clear up everything from your prep and wipe down any grease splatters on your kitchen counter. A clean kitchen is usually more inviting. Take a shower. Wash your face so it doesn’t feel like you’ve been cooking for the last 5 hours. Put on some make up. Then do the following things - future you will thank you.
Empty the sink and dishwasher
Take out the kitchen trash and bathroom trash - insert clean garbage can liners
Light a candle in the guest bathroom
6:45 pm - 7:00 pm
Put on your favorite spotify playlist. Set out appetizers on the table. Place 2-3 bottles of wine on the table with a bottle opener. Having a bottle opener readily available encourages guests to help themselves. Open your favorite bottle and pour yourself a glass of wine. Sit on the couch and wait for the inevitable I’m running late, be there in 5 texts from your friends.
7:00 pm - 7:30 pm
As guests arrive, let them grab wine glasses for themselves. This makes your home feel more welcoming. Mi casa es su casa. Take this time to catch up with your friends - no cooking or food prep.
7:40 pm - 8:00 pm
Start reheating the entree. If you are making spaghetti and meatballs, this would be the time to start boiling water for the pasta. Have a guest start moving the appetizers off the dining table. Have another guest refill your wine glass. Finally, have someone toss the salad and dressing together. You shouldn’t have to do everything at your own dinner party. Good friends help out. Good friends want to help out.
8:00 pm - ?
Enjoy!
NOTE: These breakdowns are based off of my routine when I was single, living alone, and would regularly host 4-6 friends in my one-bedroom apartment. The cleaning time chunks are incorporated in since I obviously couldn’t do everything at the same time. If you happen to have a partner, they can handle all of the cleaning while you cook. It’s the least they can do :) As a result, you can start cooking later in the day.